It's Hard to Be a Good Parent When You're Still in the Middle of It
Divorce is one of the most disorienting things an adult can go through. And yet, right in the middle of your own grief, anger, and upheaval, you're expected to show up for your kids, calm, consistent, and emotionally available, while co-parenting with the exact person who is also the source of your stress.
That's an enormous ask. And most parents are trying to do it without any real support.
The tension you're carrying affects your children whether you intend it to or not. Not because you're a bad parent, but because you're human, and you're going through something genuinely hard. The most powerful thing you can do for your kids right now is take care of yourself first.
That's exactly what this work is for.
This Is Individual Therapy, Just for You
This isn't couples counseling with your ex. This isn't mediation. This is your own space to work through what you're carrying and build the tools to handle co-parenting with more steadiness, clarity, and confidence.
With a background in child and family work spanning nearly two decades, I've seen firsthand what children need most from their parents during and after divorce. It's not a perfect custody arrangement. It's not parents who never argue. It's a parent who is emotionally regulated, present, and able to put their children's needs ahead of their own pain, even on the hard days. That capacity is something we build together.
What We Work On:
Every situation is different, but co-parenting support typically focuses on some combination of the following:
-
Managing your own emotional reactions so they don't spill onto your kids
-
Communicating with your co-parent in ways that reduce conflict and protect your energy
-
Establishing boundaries that actually hold, with your ex, with extended family, with well-meaning people who make things harder
-
Talking to your children about the divorce in age-appropriate, non-damaging ways
-
Recognizing signs that your children are struggling and knowing how to respond
-
Building a parenting identity that is fully yours, not defined by the relationship that ended
-
Navigating the complicated feelings that come with watching your children love someone you're hurt by or angry at
-
Managing transitions, holidays, school events, and the hundred other moments where co-parenting friction shows up
You Don't Have to Co-Parent Perfectly. You Have to Co-Parent Well Enough.
Research on children and divorce is clear on one thing: children do best when their parents manage conflict well, stay emotionally available, and maintain stability at home. You don't need to be best friends with your ex. You don't need to pretend everything is fine. You need to be okay enough to show up, and to give your kids a place to land.
That's a achievable goal. And you don't have to figure out how to get there alone.
This Is For You If:
-
You're going through a divorce or separation and have children
-
Co-parenting conflict is affecting your daily life and your kids
-
You struggle to stay regulated during or after interactions with your ex
-
You worry about how your children are coping but don't know what to do
-
You want to be a better parent but feel too depleted to figure out how
-
You're doing this mostly alone and could use real, skilled support
Is your co-parenting situation high-conflict or involve a narcissistic ex? Read this
I work with adults and am proudly LGBTQIA+ affirming. Sessions are available in person in Montclair, NJ and via telehealth across New Jersey and New York.
Serving Montclair, Bloomfield, Glen Ridge, Verona, West Orange, Maplewood, South Orange and across Essex County NJ.