The Relationship Is Over. The Dynamic Isn't
Co-parenting with a narcissistic or emotionally manipulative ex is its own specific kind of exhausting. You've done the work of recognizing the pattern, maybe even leaving. And now you have to text them about soccer practice.
The tactics don't stop just because you share children. They often just find a new arena. Custody arrangements become power plays. Pickups become opportunities for provocation. Your kids become leverage, whether consciously or not. And you're supposed to stay calm, stay consistent, and show up as a grounded parent, while managing someone who knows exactly which buttons to push.
This is not a you problem. This is an extraordinarily hard situation that requires real, specialized support.
What This Looks Like in Therapy
This is individual therapy, just for you. We're not doing couples work or co-parenting mediation with your ex in the room. This is your space to untangle what's happening, build your capacity to handle it, and figure out how to protect yourself and your children going forward.
Together we work on:
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Understanding the specific dynamics at play so you stop second-guessing yourself
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Building communication strategies that reduce engagement and conflict, things like parallel parenting, low-contact communication, and boundary scripts that actually hold
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Managing the emotional triggers that get activated every time their name appears on your phone
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Separating your healing from the ongoing co-parenting relationship, so their behavior stops derailing your progress
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Developing the regulated, steady presence your children need from you, even when the other parent is chaos
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Recognizing and addressing the ways the dynamic is affecting your kids, and learning how to talk to them about what's happening in age-appropriate, non-alienating ways
You Can't Control Them. You Can Control This:
The goal isn't to fix the co-parenting relationship, that may never be fully fixable. The goal is to get you to a place where their behavior has less power over your emotional state, your parenting, and your life. Where you can make clear decisions instead of reactive ones. Where your children have at least one parent who is genuinely okay.
That is absolutely achievable. And it's some of the most meaningful work I do.
This Is For You If:
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You're co-parenting with an ex you believe is narcissistic or emotionally manipulative
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Every interaction leaves you feeling destabilized, enraged, or defeated
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You're worried about the impact on your children but don't know what to do
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You feel like you're walking on eggshells all over again, just in a different context
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You want to stop being triggered by someone you can't cut contact with
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You need practical tools, not just validation
I work with adults and am proudly LGBTQIA+ affirming. Sessions in person in Montclair, NJ and via telehealth across NJ & NY.
Serving Montclair, Bloomfield, Glen Ridge, Verona, West Orange, Maplewood, South Orange and across Essex County NJ.